


Efficient

by thespianhowell



Series: Phan Week 2015 [7]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, Phan Week 2015, Shower Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-22
Updated: 2015-11-22
Packaged: 2018-05-02 19:04:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5260139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thespianhowell/pseuds/thespianhowell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Day 6 NSFW Prompt: Shower!</i><br/><i>Is it practical? No! Could Dan and Phil do it in the shower without seriously injuring themselves? Probably not! But we’re not interested in the limitations of physics! MAKE IT STEAMY. </i><br/><br/>“We really don’t have time to get up to anything.”<br/>“Wanna test that theory?”<br/>(a.k.a morning quickies in the shower)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Efficient

**Author's Note:**

> written for day 6 of [Phan Week 2015](http://phanweek.tumblr.com/)  
> i have fallen a bit behind and this is late because I had to Do Ren Things in my Ren Life but that doesn’t mean I’ve admitted defeat I AM GOING TO DO EVERY DAY OKAY I AM DETERMINED.

The alarm goes off at 9am, and Dan has trouble mustering the effort to even switch off the alarm, let alone actually get out of bed. He knows they’ve got places to be this morning. They have a BBC meeting and then they’re going to lunch with Louise and Darcy and it’s going to be a good day once he actually gets up to face it. But despite his best efforts he had a fitful sleep last night and okay, maybe he’s just naturally a tired and nocturnal person. So he’s sleepy  and he does not feel refreshed at all and the blaring of the alarm is making him realise that he possibly feels stressed and irritable as well. The alarm gets switched off, and then Phil’s kissing behind his ear and poking him in the sides. His irritability dissolves as if by magic and he’s struggling not to laugh.

“Wake up Bear.” Phil demands, his voice still husky and riddled with sleep in that way that’s always Dan’s favourite. He starts kissing Dan’s neck and making him shiver, and even if he doesn’t feel quite so ill-tempered anymore, Dan wants to keep it for just a little bit longer. He groans melodramatically and rolls onto his stomach, burying his face into his pillow even further. He grabs Phil’s hand to pull Phil with him, keeping him pressed close.

“Save yourself Phiw. Save your career. I’m quitting to live in this bed.” Phil’s perfectly used to his morning dramatics but it still buys him another minute or so with Phil’s lips on his neck, every time, without fail. This morning is no exception. Phil pecks a line from his neck up to behind his ear, wrapping an arm lightly around his middle.

“Pretty sure we’re employed as a duo.” Dan can’t help but snigger because it’s far too true.

“Tell them your other half is in bed, dying.” He snuggles backwards, pressing up close against Phil and feeling his chest rumble.

“So I’m telling the whole boardroom of terrifying BBC businessmen that you’re _my_ other half, am I?” Phil’s still kissing his neck because he’s smart enough to know that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar, but Dan doesn’t miss the challenge in his voice.

“There’s going to be like four other people maximum in the meeting and you know it. And I meant _the_ other half. Of the duo. But feel free to out us to the boardroom, what are they going to do about it?” he knows Phil never would, and he also knows that he is going to get out of bed and go to the damn meeting, but Phil’s lips are brushing along his shoulder now and really, no-one could possibly blame him for stalling.

“Nothing, because my other half is getting out of the bed and coming to work with me like a responsible employed adult.” Phil kisses his left shoulder blade, but follows up with tickles to Dan’s side. Dan hears decidedly un-manly squeaking noises that can only be coming from him, even though he’s clamping his lips shut. Phil’s constant exploitation of his ticklishness would be the worst thing about their relationship if he didn’t secretly kind of like it. He rolls backwards forcefully, half-crushing his boyfriend and hearing him grumble wordlessly.

“I am not a responsible adult.” He argues, grabbing Phil’s hand that’s still resting on his waist to make sure the man underneath him can’t move.

“You won’t be employed, either, at this rate. Get off me.” Phil’s voice sounds more awake than before, and Dan knows he has to cave soon so he drops Phil’s hand. But the bed is the only place where physical affection feels entirely comfortable and right, and Dan hasn’t had much sleep and for the whole night he’d been too busy lying in the foetal position trying not to wake Phil to cuddle with him. Maybe he’s feeling a little touch-starved, so he pushes it and keeps stalling, just a little more.

“I will be if you cover for me.” Phil’s groan is exaggerated as he slides out from under Dan to the very edge of the bed, but there’s the familiar layer of humour under his words when he replies, so Dan knows he isn’t _actually_ in trouble.

“Dan I will fill this entire bed with moths.” Dan gasps in faked horror, and it makes Phil smile, fond and a little exasperated.

“No need to get brutal there, Phil.” Phil finally climbs out of the bed, but he leans back over to kiss Dan’s lips. Dan’s hand cups Phil’s face instinctively, and then Phil’s giggling and pulling back with a scheming grin on his face.

“We should shower. Together.” Dan rolls his eyes and covers his face in his hands, mostly because he knows he’s blushing a little. It’s not that he doesn’t want to; it’s just impractical when they have limited time.

“We really don’t have time to get up to anything.” He explains, the words muffled by the hands that Dan can’t be bothered to move. Phil’s hands take his wrists and pull them aside for him.

“Wanna test that theory?”

“You’ll just blame me if we’re late!” Phil pulls him by the hands into a sitting position, Dan groaning but not actually resisting. Dan receives another kiss when he’s sat up.

“We’ll be combining tasks if we do it in the shower!” Phil’s grinning and his eyes are lit up. To be honest Dan’s already sold on the plan but that doesn’t mean he’ll sacrifice an opportunity to poke fun at Phil.

“Are you ever not sexually frustrated?” Phil’s eyes roll.

“You certainly help lower how often I feel the ‘frustrated’ part.” He gives Dan an exaggerated cheesy wink before leaning in to kiss him again. When Phil’s tongue touches his lower lip, he gives in.

“We’d have to be quick.” Phil looks triumphant and self-satisfied as he grabs Dan’s hands again and starts to pull him out of the bed.

“I’ve already got ideas.” He promises, making a curious Dan grin and comply, his feet hitting the ground as he replies,

“They’d better be good ones.” Phil drops one hand but not the other and Phil is leading him briskly towards their staircase.

“When are my plans ever not good?” Dan resists the urge to say ‘all the time’ because whilst Phil is full of ridiculous ideas, his sex-related plans, if nothing else, were generally brilliant. 

They get to the bathroom and Dan discards his boxers as Phil turns on the shower. He’s got a hand other the spray, testing the temperature, when Dan takes the liberty of pulling his pyjama pants down for him. He chuckles.

“Thanks so much Dan.”

“This is all about the efficiency, Phil.” And then his lips are crashing into Phil’s and he’s backing Phil under the spray of the shower with an arm around his waist and another in his hair. The water hits them and makes him shiver. Phil sighs into the kiss, running one of his own hands up into Dan’s hair, caressing his neck and making him shiver. Their hips roll together on instinct, and Dan’s a little taken aback by how aroused he already is. His hand roams from Phil’s waist to his ass, grabbing it and pressing them as close as they can go, feeling Phil’s body all along his and the warm spray of the shower against his back and it all has him almost weak at the knees. The kiss heats up quickly, getting desperate and rough when Dan’s teeth take Phil’s lower lip. He slots one leg between Phil’s, arranging them so his cock is pressed to Phil’s thigh and Phil is positioned the same way, and ruts forward. Phil pulls back, gasping for breath and stares at Dan with the intensity and adoration that he really should be used to by now. (He absolutely isn’t). Phil’s hands on his waist pull and they’re pressed flush against each other again. Some of the desperation and heat from the moment before melts at the tenderness in Phil’s eyes.

“I love your hair like this.” Phil’s voice is quiet and Dan’s stomach swoops.

“I don’t.” He’s not arguing, of course, it’s just a fact, but it makes Phil frown a tiny bit and peck his lips briefly.

“I know. Doesn’t change my mind.” He pushes the wet curls off Dan’s forehead with a touch soft enough to match the look in his eyes, and then he’s swooping in and kissing Dan’s lips again. His tongue slides between his lips to glide over Dan’s, and Dan lets him tangle their tongues together, but the mood is different now. Phil’s hand is still running tenderly through his hair and if Dan is soppy enough to be turned on by the love in the gesture, well, no-one else has to know about it. His hands find their way to Phil’s hips, rolling them together again, this time slow and sensual. Phil lets out a small, soft moan against Dan’s lips and it just makes Dan pull him closer, press them closer together. One hand is still on Phil’s ass and he squeezes it, making Phil giggle-sigh against his lips. He can feel how hard Phil is getting and he’s reluctant to speed up but they are so going to be late if they don’t hurry this along, because he knows they’re both past the point of no return. (Or more accurately, stubborn refusal to return even if it’s the logical choice). He pulls his mouth from Phil’s grudgingly.

“I believe you had a very efficient plan?” he reminds, punctuating the sentence with a light slap to Phil’s ass to break the romance of the moment. He loves the romance, he wants the romance, but romance is slow and he also wants to get off and keep his job. Phil gasps and his hips stutter forward.

“I have got a plan in mind.” He tells Dan when he recovers. “Want me to carry it out?”

“Please do.” Phil smirks and spins him around unceremoniously using his hands on Dan’s hips. Dan’s reeling for a moment and he lets Phil push him in whatever way he wants to. His fingers are pressed hard enough on Dan’s hips that it might leave a bruise and Dan _lives_ for this, for Phil being rough with him and Phil leaving marks on him that he can treasure as reminders for days. Phil pushes him against the wall. He’s not gentle about it and it makes Dan groan and he sounds so fucking needy but he doesn’t care because he _feels_ needy, too. Phil takes his hands and presses them to the shower wall near Dan’s head, holding them for a moment before pulling away from Dan completely. Dan knows that just because Phil isn’t holding him there doesn’t mean he’s allowed to move, and he has no real desire to, so he stays put and waits. He assumes Phil’s going to fuck him against the shower wall, and as much as that sounds _delicious_ , it is not efficient. He considers bringing it up for a moment, but he’s fairly sure he he doesn’t actually want to stop it from happening, so he says nothing. He can hear the flipping of the cap of the bottle of lube they have hidden in the shower caddy and seconds later, Phil has the heel of his palm pressed to the top of Dan’s cheeks and a finger circling his rim and his lips have found Dan’s neck again. Phil’s finger slides inside him. As it slides out and back in again, Dan is a little shocked because he feels Phil’s cock, a little slippery with both the water of the shower and precum, sliding between the very top of his thighs, brushing right along between his ass cheeks, the tip hitting the back of his balls. He feels a wave of dizziness and gratitude for the fact that he is taller than Phil but only by the tiniest amount because it’s perfect for this.

“Fuck.” He breathes, and he hears Phil chuckling, deep and self-satisfied and a little bit breathless. His finger presses up and hits Dan’s prostate and it has Dan resting his forehead on the wall and pushing his ass back against Phil. Phil begins to slide his cock between Dan’s thighs and they’re aligned so perfectly that he grazes Dan’s perineum at the same time that his finger grazes Dan’s prostate. Dan cries out and Phil bites down lightly on his shoulder. “Phil. Phil. _Phil._ ” he murmurs aimlessly as Phil’s finger continues to tease him and his cock continues to brush all over the inside of his thighs. He clamps his legs closer together, making Phil moan.

“God, Dan.” Phil’s mouth is just next to his ear. Dan wants to take his own cock in hand so badly, but he knows he’ll be gone pretty quickly if he does. Instead, he reaches a hand back into Phil’s hair, tugging it, and presses his whole body back against Phil, his back on Phil’s chest, resting his head on Phil’s shoulder. Phil’s hair is soaking wet and his hand is now under the warm spray of the shower and it’s so hot, _God_. Phil’s free hand curls around him, keeping him close as he can as his finger continues to move in and out of Dan, hitting his prostate over and over. Phil’s hips are moving his cock faster and faster between Dan’s thighs and Dan is pressing them as tight as possible at random intervals to drive Phil crazy. His ragged breathing makes it seem like it’s working. “Efficient enough for you?” Phil manages to taunt as his hand goes from Dan’s middle to take his cock.

“Fuck. _Yes_.” Dan isn’t sure if he’s exactly agreeing or just reacting to the sensations because he’s so fucking close and his brain is foggy and focused only on the orgasm he can feel building. Phil’s hand isn’t moving, it’s just squeezing Dan and Dan _needs_ him to fucking move, for Christ’s sake. It’s so unfair, Phil’s cock is moving so fast between his thighs and it’s tantalising and Phil is getting the friction that Dan is dying for. “Phil, for fuck’s sake.” He grumbles. Phil laughs, self-satisfied and gloating, and presses his finger to Dan’s prostate again. Dan can’t take it; he bucks his hips into Phil’s hand and Phil finally complies, moving his hand as fast as his hips. Dan can tell that he must be getting close himself because he’s panting and he’s given up on teasing Dan. Phil’s thumb teases his slit and his finger presses inside him again and Dan’s done. He comes with Phil’s finger against his prostate and his hand on his cock, helping him ride it out. He presses his forehead back against the cool tiles when he’s done, Phil finally pulling his finger out and moving both his hands to Dan’s waist for leverage. Dan presses his thighs as close as he can and Phil moans, kissing Dan’s shoulder again. His movements become erratic, and it’s not long before he’s coming as well, whimpering Dan’s name as he does. He rests his head against Dan’s shoulder for a moment to recover, and Dan leans his own head back onto Phil’s shoulder again.

“Told you I had a good plan.” Phil tells him. Dan laughs, too satisfied to argue, and Phil pulls back completely. Dan turns back around to face him.

“I’ll admit, it wasn’t bad.” Phil rolls his eyes upwards, but he’s grabbing Dan’s shampoo, the non-colour protect ‘for dry hair’ kind, with a little smile and Dan loves this part. There are endless reasons he and Phil shower together a lot, but mostly it’s just because Phil gets cute and affectionate and washing becomes something of a team effort. He squeezes some of the shampoo into his hand and replaces it, and his hands come up to massage the shampoo into Dan’s hair. His fingers are gentle and lovely and Dan leans into the touch with a slightly pathetic, dreamy smile on his face.

“Aren’t you glad I made you shower with me?” Phil is definitely teasing him, but honestly, he doesn’t really care. 

“Always.”

**Author's Note:**

> on tumblr [here!](http://thespianhowell.tumblr.com/post/133692735261/efficient)  
> 


End file.
